Ever since I started my Never, Never list, some time ago now, I’ve been wondering why the natural foibles of life hadn’t provided me with some new candidates for the list. Well, in retrospect, there were a few I could have included, but apparently they arrived along with sufficient trauma to block the mental appraisal of those experiences, and it just didn’t occur to me to include them – anyway, that’s my excuse. Actually, every time I tried to come up with a new one, nothing seemed appropriate – but now I’ve got one, and I’m not missing this opportunity.
I was recently catching up on one of my regular blogs, Pioneer Woman Cooks, (if you’ve never checked out this blog, you need to – this is supposedly a woman from California, who married a cowboy from Oklahoma, and she now keeps the world updated on the culture clash of “ranch life meets valley girl” – and believe it or not, this very literate and humorous gal has maybe 100,000 daily readers of her blog – well, it seems that way anyhow. Now, this is one damn good cook, but I’ve got her figured out, though – I can tell by her writing ability and such, that she must be doing something more than just a blog every day. Nope, I figure she really writes those pulpy, risque romance novels in her spare time, and what’s a ranch gal got if not spare time – plus, I’ll bet she can write about 3 of those every day – so, … Yeah, I got Pioneer Woman figured out!)
Anyway, before I interrupted myself, I was about to tell you that while I was on Pioneer Woman, I came across an article where she was saying that she hated to cook with those glass pans, like Corning, Pyrex, and such. Her sense was that they never did get things brown like metal pans do, and they’re always breaking! Wow, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Actually, the major reason why I don’t like the things is because it is simply impossible to always know whether every square inch of your counter-top is bone dry – and, damn-it – if you plop that glass pan down on a “moist” spot, the next sound you hear is “CRACK”! I don’t need that aggravation.
Well, friends, I’ve found a new reason to hate glass pans, which I’ll get to in a quick minute – but I’m remembering way back to when I first saw those glass pans, and of course the first thought that pops into your head is, “Why doesn’t that thing break when it gets hot?” Well, now my thought is, after all these years of learning and such, “Why didn’t I listen to my own better judgment?” Yup.
Here’s my new reason – I was recently preparing to make a cobbler, and the cobbler we like starts with a stick of butter being melted in the bottom of a pan – so I put the stick in one of those glass pans, figuring if it’s tempered against 5oo degrees in the oven, a little low heat to melt butter is just fine – I turned the burner to low, and went about my business.
In a little bit, I looked over and the butter was melted – I reached over and just as I touched the handle on one end, an explosion occurred – there was a huge noise, and at first, I wasn’t sure what had just happened – maybe a silent jet had crashed into the house, or maybe the stove itself had exploded.
Nope. When I collected my wits again, I realized that I was covered with a sheet of butter, studded with tiny flecks of glass – the pan had shattered into at least a few million pieces – Really! There were no pieces larger than a raisin – and some of them we later found about 20 feet away. I’m now thinking that the stored up strength in an exploding glass pan might well be a future source of energy for mankind.
Did I at least learn something out of all this? Well, yeah – I learned that I have a solid candidate for my Never Never list – and I guess the other thing I learned is that there seems no end to my own personal learning curve. Yup, some things just never change.